Superbowl

I didn’t watch it, but I think it’s karmic just desserts that the team who was apparently filming other teams’ practices got served.

Want me to watch the Superbowl? I want to see The Pixies play the halftime show. I want Black Francis up there gibbering incoherently in Spanish, Swahili, and Aramaic like a portly, bald, Hispanic, Mel Gibson.

I want Joey Santiago to wear a crown, a golden crown, with flammable gasses erupting from it so that his head appears to be on fire.

• Entertainment

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