I believe that in the morning before George W. Bush hops out of bed, Dick Cheney must sneak in, like to tooth fairy, and put MAGIC GLASSES on the sleeping commander-in-chief. It’s these MAGIC GLASSES that allow him to me so damn chipper all the time - despite the looming specter of facts coming to darken his day. When George and the MAGIC GLASSES see trouble coming they know just what to do - filter it out! With his glasses on, GWB tells us great news like this from the campaign trail: “This country [Iraq] is headed toward democracy.” You see, with MAGIC GLASSES everyone in Iraq is sitting there wondering whether to frolick in place or to spontaneously erect a monument to Paul Wolfowitz.

I’ve been in the closet about this for too many years. I was afraid that stating the following would put me into a repressed minority. I feared I would be laughed at by the intelligentsia, I feared that I would be a type of “free-thinker” iconoclast that is vilified by the conservative part of American life. I suppose I was merely afraid. But I will be afraid no more. Let me say what I’ve known in my heart for oh-so-long. Doonesbury is simply not funny.

Previous Additions to the German Lexicon …When you do something thinking you will save yourself doing something you don’t want to do, but then forget that you were smart enough to do that and wind up creating more work for yourself, because you just did the thing you didn’t want to, so as to remember that you did something “smart” with the thing you wanted and now you must do it in addition…. e.g. Guy 1: “I put my manila folder on the outside of my bag so that I could get to it without unbuckling the bag, Once I did that I remembered I’d put the folder in the convenient side access flap instead, so then I had to buckle the bag back up and then open the access flap to get it.

Ouch

http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/2009/07/palin-speech-edit-200907?printable=true&currentPage=all Copy-editing as a tool of political skewering:

http://www.tofugu.com/2012/02/18/japanese-fart-scrolls/ So amazing. What would you do with a blue bag of fart gas? And what if you deployed it as a weapon only to find your enemies had fans and a counter-farting strategy. Japan, man. Japan.

“Man On Cusp Of Having Fun Suddenly Remembers Every Single One Of His Responsibilities” We’ve all been there. Reality impinges.

As always the Onion crushes it: “Vacationing Woman Thinks Cats Miss Her.” http://onion.com/1AlZ5wo

The [beautifully demented art][1] of the Perry Bible Fellowship.

“I do not understand,” reads an ancient line of pictographs depicting the sun, the moon, water, and a Sumerian who appears to be scratching his head. “A booming voice is saying, ‘Let there be light,’ but there is already light. It is saying, ‘Let the earth bring forth grass,’ but I am already standing on grass.” “Everything is here already,” the pictograph continues. “We do not need more stars.” Ah, the inconveniences of archaeology. https://www.theonion.com/sumerians-look-on-in-confusion-as-god-creates-world-1819571221

Possibly the lowest of the lowbrow videos…but Missi Pyle is hilarious.

“Find The Thing You’re Most Passionate About, Then Do It On Nights And Weekends For The Rest Of Your Life” http://onion.com/1MXzrlU

Biting satire from SNL and Fey / Poehler. Leslie Jones, as ever, takes the cake.

Canada as lensed via the (original) DeGrassi filter

Being a stranger in a strange state of mind called California: “No, I’m from New York.” https://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/no-im-from-new-york

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/ts-eliot-sees-cats-for-the-first-time It is awful.

Time to partition bitterly divided brexit Britain, says India pic.twitter.com/XYTLHZKalK — Eoin Kelleher (@eoinyk) September 2, 2017 Troll level: de-colonial!

So, is she now monarch by will of the Lady in the Lake? https://buff.ly/2iTTYUd

A very demented spelling bee. Franco plays it in a wondrously depraved way.

it's great making a product for linux users because they have such a low baseline expectation for things working out-of-the-box and will go to great lengths to help you debug — yan (@bcrypt) March 23, 2018

A while back, while we were both looking for work, one of my friends sent me following, which includes an autocorrect error:

They would legitimately have a lot of user signal and data to process. It’s a bigger industry than the NFL.