The Mystery of Conservative Language

- 2 minutes read - 330 words

Recently, while traveling the interior of Texas, my friend Mike texted a photo of these T-shirts to me.

Seen hanging around Central Texas

Seen hanging around Central Texas

Socialism Distancing? Socialism Distancing? What is that? It looks like word salad generated by a CAPTCHA gone crazy. “Socialism,” noun; “Distancing,” noun. The more I thought about it, the more perplexed I became. The noun of “distancing” should certainly be modified by an adjective.

So, the shirt designer’s intention, rendered grammatical, was to say “social(ist) distancing.” Holding that to be true, that doesn’t seem to communicate much either. What is signified by “socialist distancing” instead of:

  • “capitalist distancing”
  • “supply-side distancing”
  • “voodoo distancing”
  • “Keynsian distancing”
  • “Maoist distancing”

I humbly submit that no one could tell me what the sign “socialist distancing” means. And therein I believe we are encountering a naturally occurring bit of “hyperreality” overwriting normal discourse.

Simulacra and Simulation

The word “socialism” here is not the word “socialism” but it’s the tribal identity “flag” for, from the designer’s perspective, “the other side.”

Now, it could be the case that the shirt designer meant: “Reject socialist distancing,” but since “socialist distancing” makes no sense, this can’t be the point.

It’s certainly inappropriate to apply to “distancing,” but I imagine that if I were to meet them they’d explain that “Socialism is what’s making America Not Great (Again)” and that keeping a viral spread-minimizing distance between us was proposed by those who are not fully on-board with the Make America Great Again agenda (i.e. socialists, despite very few avowed socialists belonging to any American party).

But as I thought more about it, I realized that the word “socialism” here has nothing to do with an economic and social system where the means of production are, in some part, managed by government.

Consulting with Merriam-Webster

socialism: noun: any of various economic and political theories advocating collective or governmental ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods

“Socialism.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/socialism. Accessed 8 Apr. 2021.