Once, on Facebook I wrote:
I don’t care your politics. If you have a daughter you might think this is for her, but It’s for your sons too.
It’s for boys that live in cultures of toxic masculinity that subscribe them to an omerta of silence around bullying, sexual behavior boundaries, understanding consent…and shames them for not “knowing what to do” and tells them that “real men” get it or take it (which is what women really want anyway). Toss in some Abrahamaic superstition and you have a sauce of self-loathing that you dump in this toxic soup.
I had good parents, but toxic culture stunted me in many ways that left real damage that I regret. I had good parents, but toxic culture left me in oceans of doubt that didn’t need to be there. I look back and am saddened that those who got the spotlight weren’t men of wisdom but were men of excess. I’m sad our TV shows furthered the lovable cad trope and showed hordes of women at his door. I’m sad that so much has been so poorly taught for so long.
We need to help our boys find worthy teachers in finding their way to manhood where manhood is not defined by who it blindly oppresses.
There’s so much more to say about this but I spent a good 15 years trying to undo bad programming that made me miserable along the way.