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All Hail Rob Harvilla
In the months after my son came into my life, I was spending a lot of wee hours alone washing, rinsing, cleaning, wiping, and reloading so that my wife could get a few hours of sleep here and there. I had never paid much attention to Spotify’s podcasts, but, thanks to long hours standing at the sink, I had run my normal podcast content to empty and I took a chance.
I’m so thankful. Rob’s “60 songs that explain the 90’s” did cover insights about the music of my teens and twenties. But Rob’s writing and his angle of attack on the questions of music are inventive. His tone and personal anecdotes enliven and draw out laughter. Some episodes drew me straight away because I loved the song under the microscope ("Glory Box"); some I hate-listened ("Semi-Charmed Kinda Life")1 ; but the one that I avoided the longest wound up being a powerful showcase about what makes this show so special: CĂ©line Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On.”
RIP Ward Christensen
I’ve recently been remembering and exploring the “modem age” I was lucky enough to live through in the 90s. It shaped both my career and personal destiny. Ultimately all that was started by my using a modem to connect to my first bulletin board system or BBS.
The Narcissist's Playbook: How to Identify, Disarm, and Protect Yourself from Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, and Other Types of Manipulative and Abusive People
I suppose ever since the America welcomed in and ushered out its 45th president, I’ve become fascinated with the obviously abusive behavior narcissists heap out on their targets (Hi, Republican Party esp. Sens. Cruz and Graham), why their targets tolerate it beyond pure opportunism, and why so many third parties will come to the aggressor’s defense.
As I’ve done ever-more research on the matter, I’ve seen more patterns around manipulation and narcissism affecting those in my own life. Particularly as a manger, I’ve come to see that some leaders, unwittingly or no, influence by manipulation instead of persuasion, alignment, fairness, and shared vision.
Enter this book.
Unfortunately, the book feels like huge chunks of it were written with AI assistance or with near-verbatim cut-outs from support web-sites. To be clear, I’m fully open to the idea that Ms. Morningstar and her site are good and noble pursuits in the world. Unfortunately, the book, for me, didn’t give me the dispassionate exploration of narcissistic manipulation I was hoping for. On the other hand, it provided many anecdotes and a lot of support for survivors, and, again, that’s a good thing.
I took some notes and some inspiration, but it wasn’t the type of analysis I was looking for. I’m blessed in that I don’t need affirmation; I don’t need examples talking about how others are dealing with the same thing – blessedly! For those who need the confidence to break away, validation of their own invalidating thoughts, etc. this book might have a lot more value.