I’ve recorded how I was recently in Boston at the beautiful Westin Boston Waterfront hotel. The foyer is beautiful, the bar dark and sleek, the staff courteous. In every way a high-calibre hotel should be enjoyable, it is.

Ancillary to this aesthetic, when turning on the beautiful plasma LG screen, you are given, instead of some graphic menu of “here are the movies we hope to bilk you an extra x bucks for”, a rotating series of interactive vignettes with this lovely, non-offensive, pretty, but not threateningly hot-pretty, conservatively-dressed, non-Caucasian ( because we’re down wit’ diversitay ) lady as your virtual interlocutor.

I named her Christina.

IMG_0261.jpg

Christina reminds you that Westin wants to elevate all your senses, and advises you to buy White Tea scented candles - against a pseduo-shoji wall, perhaps taking the Asian thing a bit too far, we get it, yo.

Now, I was surprised when pretty, prim, Christina had the ignominious task of informing me of the movie selection options: “Hollywood Blockbusters, Children’s programing, and mature adult content”.

"Mature Adult Content" she said

Say it with her “mature adult content”

She didn’t that, did she? Why Christina, you little minx, underneath your buttoned-up tweed there’s a scarlet A, eh? But then I thought about it a bit more…

  • Adult content = naughty movies
  • Mature content = naughty movies
  • Mature adult content = naughty movies targeted at the elderly (cue Pulp’s “Help the Aged”)

I realize that they’re trying to give as many flags to parents in the facility that this is exactly what you don’t want your kids to be watching ( same reason, reversed, for road warrior salesfolk ), but in so doing they created a bit of a semantic conundrum.

As for you mature adults tuning in…well, boffo.