When I started1 college I was monolingual ( if you don’t count public-school Spanish ). By graduation I was exceedingly comfortable with Dutch and French2. These studies, along the way, showed me the wider possibilities of the expression in my native tongue and, as such, I feel as though I lost the sense of the original linguistic constraints of my class, culture, and region. In some ways, it made it harder for me to speak my native tongue.
Allow me to explain.
You see, the first language I really mastered was a Germanic one that maintains some legacy structures which are permissible in modern English, but which are either anachronistic, or, at the very least, unusual, to the modern ear. I’m not sure how second ( and third, or fourth ) language acquisition remaps synaptic paths, but things that didn’t pass my “acceptable English” filter before Dutch did pass after.
A simple starting example:
English:
I think that the apple is red
Dutch:
Ik denk dat de appel rood is.
In Dutch, and other Germanic languages, after a relative pronoun ( “that / dat” ) one has the permission to stack all the verbs at the end of the clause3. Thus, a literal English translation would be:
English:
I think that the apple red is
Now here’s the thing, this utterance is not wrong, rather it’s merely quirky, odd, but legitimately comprehensible4.
Now to a more complex example. One idea that became legitimate for me post–1998 was that both “to be” and “to have” were legitimate auxiliary verbs for making the past-perfect.
That is, in traditional English I would say:
I have come to Amsterdam to view Golden-Age paintings.
But in Dutch the helping word is from a form of “to be” (“zijn”) not “to have” (“hebben”) and thus is the translation of “I am” or “ben”, not “heb”. Thus:
Ik ben naar Amsterdam gekomen om Gouden-eeuwse schilderijn te zien.
That is:
I am come to Amsterdam in order to see Golden-Age paintings.
Behold, I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds
Or, having a traditional Christian upbringing:
Joy to the world the lord is come.
“Ah-hah”, thought I, “it appears that somewhere the use of ‘to have’ overtook ‘to be’ as the auxiliary term for verbs.” Dutch, which shares an approximate common ancestor with English around the time of Chaucer, seems to have preserved something we English-speakers have removed.
But in 1999-2000 I also studied French, and the past perfect ( or passé composé ) also uses a form of “to have” (être) or “to be” (avior) to indicate something that happened, and completed ( i.e. perfected ) in the past.
I came to Paris to visit Shakespeare’s bookstore.
French:
Je suis venu à Paris pour visiter la librarie «Shakespeare’s».
Literal English:
I am come to Paris to visit the bookstore, Shakespeare’s.
Hm, so here we are with French, the other influential parent in English’s family tree, asserting that forms of “to be” are legitimate helping verbs.
Now, what can we note among the French and Dutch verbs that use “to be” as the helping verb?
French: To fall, to come, to go, to leave, to return…
Dutch: To be, to become, to burst, to be startled…
Answer: These words seem to have a tendency to be intransitive; that is, they cannot take a direct object. Surely there are exceptions, but this seemed like a good hunch to base my research on.
This legitimate, but now archaic usage is known as: the “resultative form.”
As stated at The Mavens:
An Historical Syntax of the English Language says that the change from the type “he is arrived” to “he has arrived” may have been partly due to the identical pronunciation of is and has, reflected in the contracted spelling ‘s, found even in Shakespeare’s time: “I’m glad he’s come” (The Taming of the Shrew).6
Learning these languages, and most definitely Latin which influenced scholarly writing in both linguistic communities, has made me love the subjunctive and given me the tendency to pepper my expression with seeming anachronisms, but it’s really just that my English syntax filter was made a bit more malleable than is usual.
Knowing where English can be bent to allow these subtle and fine archaic constructs occasionally makes my expression a bit sharper to the ear and, given that these constructs are so heavily used in the legal and religious communities, can quickly whip the ear of a listener to attention without the listener even knowing it7.
I feel that learning the languages of others gave me new tools for understanding the mental constructs that frame the realities of those speakers. Experiencing this is an epiphany of the liberal arts education and is as fundamentally mind-blowing as a hallucinogen.8
Footnotes
1: 1995
2: My mastery of both Dutch and French have suffered from disuse and Latin muddling their compartments.
3: There are some variations for prepositional phrases, but let’s keep the matter simple.
4. Yoda’s syntax, for example, should illustrate the point. Further discussed in another Grammar Girl episode.
“Beautiful British Columbia”, that’s what it says, right there, on every license plate in the city. To match a boast like that, you had better back it up, to wit:
But BC delivers, it is simply like someone thought of the best parts of natural vistas, cut them out of magzines, pasted them together, and in some sort of Anthony Michael Hall bit of hilarity, made the dream reality.
In this vista Lauren and I had a bit of a vacation and we fêted the marriage of my former room-mate and the subsequent birth of his daughter.
Pictures coming soon, but for now the funk of flying west to east all day long must be slept off.
I’ve been pretty good lately about not over-engaging in web reading: you know, the sort that launches three windows each with 15 tabs.
But today Lauren said she wanted to go look at a few things and that my attendance was not required.
As such, I overdosed on Hillary campaign post mortes, browsed web sites to exhaustion and, slowly but surely, closed tabs and browser windows that I have had open for weeks.
I finally watched that DrScheme IDE demonstration, I took a nap, I broke a glass of iced tea, I read more stuff. I backed up my hard drive and ate some peanuts.
But now I am bored of this inter-net and want her to come home so we can do fun things, together.
Update:
We went to Chuy’s, sat outside, and are now going to play some Boggle. w00t.
Today I took my Latin II final which represents a substantial weight off of my shoulders. It’s weird not to have the nagging sense that somewhere, somehow, i should really be reciting conjugational or declensional paradigms.
My efficient professor offered to grade it there on the spot and I walked out knowing that I got 97 points on it. Not too shabby. That locked me an “A” in the class.
I celebrated with a pho meal and trip to Target with my beautiful girlfriend.
Brian Blessed, scenery not being chewed
Last night instead of cramming, we watched the 1976 mini-series “I, Claudius” — it was at least in the Latin vein. Major cool part: Vultan from “Flash Gordon”, Brian Blessed, playing a (to my mind, rather portly) Augustus. Primus inter pares needs to be primus intering the gym.
I say, upholding the customs of the elders is paramount!
Tonight I hope to relax a bit and head to bed early.
Or maybe enjoying a tender family moment with Ming:
I’ve been pretty quiet of late because I’ve been trying to get ready for this year’s review season at work and because I have a very sick application ( as in, it is on a server with an indeterminate and short lifespan ) that I’m trying to clone on new hardware with an interface facelift and move to a new standard of Perl.
Additionally, I have my Latin II final tomorrow.
Probably won’t be much action here until I get the finals behind me and some writing done.
Several weeks ago I was visiting “Ironic Sans” and noticed David, the proprietor had written this comment about a kerning error:
I thought it was a hilarious observation and went so far to buy the t-shirt.
And thus was my relation with keming. Then, the other day, while on a call with some service operator or another I was, in the custom of such operators, over-politely subjected to my surname being repeatedly mangled as I was called “Mr. Hams”.
It then struck me, that it was not the general deplorable state of American education, it might have been the typeface that was to blame, for you see, the poor operator may have been the victim of a tiny serifed font turning my familial name from a descendant of Hermann into a titan of hog rumps. In short, I believe my last name may have been kemed.
During SXSW my house-guest, wired up on too much of the highest points of the Web 2.0 society and jet-lag, graciously headed over to Wal-Mart to buy some basics as his luggage had gotten misplaced by American Airlines; one’s pickings are slim, mind you, at 3 in the morning.
Part of the booty that was left behind by said guest was an exemplar of the all in one coffee-making cup. Being a daring sort, I drank it upon his departure.
The first element to note is that this thing is heavy: comaprable to a Slim Fast can in density. You might be needing a trip to the ER were this thing to fall an your foot.
Speaking of slim fast, the preserved coffee herein tastes reminiscent of the “low fat shake” icon.
The real magic ( or science ) of the device is that by puncturing some liquid bladder on the bottom ( I can feel your desire growing here ) you begin an exothermic chemical reaction that warms your slim-fast coffee right up. I admit it, I drank it, and it was about as good as the stuff in my office break-room.
But what really struck me is that the thing was still tarsal-damagingly heavy after consumption of the liquid payload. I have checked out their site which re-assures me that our reaction only produces natural bi-products [sic].
I just hope everyone drinking these is putting them in the recycling bins.
The League doubted my objectification powers, he did not think that I could come up with a list of ultimate hottitude to rival his. Shortly before I fell way seriously sick (again) in late February I started this. Now, I finish it. Keep in mind, that during the 90’s I was between the ages of 13 and 23, so I’m covering from Freshman year of high school to college graduation, roughly.
The early years
Cindy Crawford
You may not remember, but in the 90’s Miss Crawford was every-where.
She was doing Revlon ads, hosting house of style with her Midwestern non-regional diction and in general, ruling every magazine cover in the grocery store rack, and, curiously, marrying Richard Gere.
I don’t think love for Cindy C. was confined just to the XY among us.
I remember reading an article back in the day that an interviewed mother remarked that she was glad her teenage son was fixating on CC because she was poised, beautiful, and classy–not like that whore Madonna. She’s proven herself to be a shrewd magnate, managing the thousand product lines launched by a beauty mark and appears to be living a happy life with her children and husband.
Claudia Schiffer
I can’t skip this one. In 1991, on the back of my binder ( it was one of those ‘clear view’ types ) I had an insert of Claudia Schiffer in a red-washed ad, she wearing a French twist hairstyle and being cupped by a see-thru corset in a Marciano Guess ad.
With a bit more perspective on media history I now know that Claudia is pulling a serious Brigitte Bardot channeling session in this picture but it’s still a great photograph. I also like Claudia because she, like Cindy C, has something going on between her ears. I read that she knows German, English, French, Greek and Latin. I’d assume this is because she went to a gymnasium for her high-school education.
But by this time my tastes and interests were realizing that the supermodel as icon certainly offered pleasures to the eye, but I was maturing ( arguably ) and my tastes were changing.
Liz Phair
Liz Phair, like it or no, was pretty much my paragon for dating desire. Hot, fierce, brave, mean, unabashedly potty-mouthed, vulnerable, and sexual. That last one pretty much works for most 16 year-old guys on its own. I had seen women be sexy you know Vanity, Madonna, et al. but Liz was frankly sexual. Her first record was a lo-fi masterpiece and i still love to listen to it.
I remember watching her videos on 120 Minutes laaaate Sunday night.: “Never Said” and “Stratford-On-Guy”
In my pre-college daydreams I always imagine Liz to be like the really cute girl in your art history class who knows way too much about Kristeva and negative dialectic but whom the young dark-haired philosophy student accidentally pisses off and they wind up verbally mixing it up with in front of the whole class and making all of sleepy students and professor bolt upright thinking: “They really have that Liz Taylor / Richard Burton hate part going on other, but their sexual chemistry might melt steel if they could stop arguing long enough to actually sleep together.” In the screenplay version of that idea they do and the chief assisting element is “alcohol” which removes his bluster and soften her shoulder’s chip. Incidentally in the screenplay the girl cares very much about fashion (shopping like a surgeon at H&M, carefully carving out the few pieces that, when wedded with her grandma’s Swarovski bracelet and the alligator cowboy boots that just went on sale, will totally kill). I don’t know if the objective Ms. Phair is anything like that, but there you have it.
My love for Liz’s music was still on board all the way through whitechocolatespaceegg - but when she started getting that Avril Lavigne sound (“Why Can’t I?”) with the computerized re-harmonizers, that “singing through the megaphone gag” trick she lost me.
Liz: You, a 4 track, and a telecaster. Please.
Mid-90’s
Uma Thurman
You were under a rock if you missed the Tarantinogasm of the mid-90’s. This poster defined dorm walls the US-over ( including mine ).
What was it about Uma in this movie? The page-girl haircut? The cigarettes? The dotted-line square in space? The overdose of sugary-pop in the labored dialog (Diablo Cody, your master is well pleased)? The vomitus after the overdose (opiate-induced, not pop-reference induced, nor Diably Cody induced)?
Gwyneth Paltrow
Once, in this strage world known as the 90’s, Gwyneth Paltrow was cool. No, really. Here’s proof.
I remember hearing around 1997 that in “Marie Claire” GP was sent to a desert island for 48 hours by herself and she kept a diary about it. I read this article and it was interesting what she thought, how she accepted her situation and made the best of it. She was resourceful, insightful, and reflective. Pretty neat, right?
I had liked her in the mid-90’s when I knew her as “Brad Pitt’s Girlfriend” and “The lady in Se7en”. And what to say of “Se7en”, it was Fincher’s breakout movie, providing a whole new æsthetic for video-like movies and gore (There would be no “Saw 4” without “Saw 1” and there would be no “Saw 1” without “Seven”). And then I saw her in “Emma”. Something about those diaphanous empire gowns and archery that will get me everytime.
I shall have to call you my Mr. Knightley
I also really liked the movie “Sliding Doors” and it’s actually why I try to be so optimistic these days: things that appear “lucky” turn out ill, other things make you cry and hurt, and then turn out to be what makes you happy. Like I tell my special girl, I’ve gone through a lot of changes, moves, and place on the way to be in the weird space-time-mood that allowed us to be together, so removing a flat tire, job offer, going to the starbucks instead of Dana Street…for such tiny questions the moment might not’ve happened. It’s magic.
And Gwyneth always seemed to capture a bit of that Bostonian / Conn. / NYC prim and crisp and proper casual that you see in Vanity Fair. You know, pastel tops, capris, and deck shoes on a bicycle in from Granddad’s house on Martha’s Vineyard into town for a baguette, some flowers ( that she will arrange, thankyouverymuch), and the weekend Times.
Now there were hints of sanctimony brewing such as when she opined on the state of rap on MTV with a wrinkled nose that (loosely paraphrased) “Come on boys, can’t we move on from this, etc.”
But over the years we’ve not seen funny Gwyneth as and she’s left our American shores to churn out children with birth-control pill pitchman Chris Martin of some band. Nevertheless, I ain’t mad atcha GP and I hope you provide some good foil in “Iron Man”.
Gillian Anderson, er no, Scully
Scully != Gillian Anderson (although they have remarkably similar bone structure).
I liked Scully: The red hair, the wide collars, her battle with her skepticism and objectivity (all the while being Catholic, how’s that wash?). Scully also didn’t suffer from the “where’s my hero” problem. She saved Mulder’s bacon more than once and not by “going and getting the sheriff”, but by being a badass. Mad propz to you.
She also had a bit of a 40’s vintage glam thing in the promo stills. Liking such a style is surely not surprising from a guy enrolled in a Lindy-Hop class.
Late 90’s
Liz Hurley
I don’t remember the day, but one day when walking through Foley’s to the mall I noticed something in the make-up section that I had never noticed before. A face, beautiful smile, and nice straight brown hair smiling from over the Estée Lauder booth. It was, I now know, Liz Hurley.
Even then, there was something of the humorous about her:
But at the same time she was absolutely keeping up with Austin Powers ( before it was an over-indulgent ego-trip vehicle ) in terms of making you laugh out loud (the cloaked nudity scenes, the way her electric smile grins as she steals the star’s catchphrase and gives it a tigress purr “Bee-haaayvve” and the way that she’s just so freaking English) she opened multiple new media icon fronts:
Maternal:
SexyFriendly:
Say, mate, last night was great and all, but I don’t want to miss the end of the Fulham match
Dangerous:
A juggernaut of Media, Liz was undeniablly everywhere and never too rough on the eyes.
Milla Jovovich
At some time in the early 90’s a girl from Russia came to the US and starred in Austin Scene Creator Richard Linklater’s “Dazed and Confused” and had few speaking parts on account of her inability to actually speak English. About this time a high school sophomore noticed her and thought “Man that girl’s cute”. A few hundred phonemes later she produced a record that produced a video that, when aired on 120 minutes, made said selfsame junior go “Man that girl’s cute”. A few years later ( phonemes turned out not to be necessary for this part ), Luc Besson gave us “The Fifth Element” where said lady spends the first half of the movie running around in, effectively, gauze.
What’s weird is that nrrrrdgrrlllzzz I know universally seem to think that fawning over Leelo in the 5th is an understandable thing to do.
Carrie-Ann Moss
The Matrix was the most present movie of 1999. You could not avoid it and, as part of it, the opening scene where C-AM beats the crap out of dudes in a leather catsuit, which was very well lit to show off how well it fit.
In the 2000’s she did a great job in “Memento” and I’ve heard good things about her turn in “Disturbia”.
and lastly…
Belle
Virtuous, brave, determined, and expressive.
A lover of books.
A person who sees the deeper beauty of a person.
A girl who shuns the easy path and always can be counted on to be good and kind.
As creepy as it is to love a cartoon, Belle is the spiritual blueprint for the “right kind of girl”: the one you treat nice, take to meet your parents and with whom you think a life of exploration company doesn’t sound at all like torture guys at the bar make it to be, it sounds, well, kinda nice.”
In the 17th century physics was a new frontier of science. In the 18th century chemistry had the same excitement. In the latter half of the 20th century, a new science has emerged. The same sense of adventure inspires some of the brightest minds to explore this new frontier: the study of symbolic systems.
Symbolic Systems attacks age-old questions about the relation between mind and the world, questions like the following. What is information? What is intelligence? How are they related? Is intelligence more than information processing? Does intelligence require a mind? For that matter, what is a mind? How are minds related to brains? Does intelligence require some sort of biologically-based brain? Or is it possible to create artifacts that process information in a way that we can call them intelligent?
