stevengharms.com

The League of Melbotis has taken up the standard of people mau-mauing the bureaucrats in the corporate overlordship. The League’s excellent sense of humour shines through in his mailing to the Golden Arches located here.

On the up side, they’rea responsive organization. Here was their take:

I’ll put my commentary in blockquotes.

Hello Steven: Thank you for taking the time to contact McDonald’s. We’re sorry you were disappointed with our advertising. We take pride in producing commercial messages that will be enjoyed. We certainly never intended for it to offend anyone [I didn’t say I was offended, I just thought it was bad]. Your comments have been shared with our advertising staff and independent advertising agency who work together to develop our commercials. Please know your feedback is helpful and will be considered in the future planning of our commercials. [This was definitely boilerplated in. The reference to Supersize wasn’t core to my message, but they must have put this in as part of a dictum] The “Supersize Me” movie you are referring to makes many claims that aren’t supported by medical science. The individual in the movie consumed at least two to three times the USDA’s daily recommended caloric intake for an adult male and he eliminated exercise from his daily activities. McDonald’s has never advocated that our customers eat an excessive quantity of calories. In fact, the vast majority of medical and scientific experts agree that McDonald’s food can be part of a healthy life style. We provide a wide range of food choices to help our customers make informed food choices. We offer several salad options, a grilled chicken sandwich, Fruit ‘n Yogurt parfaits, low-fat milk, fruit juices, apple slices, sugar-free soft drinks and more. The film maker clearly made a conscious decision to voluntarily engage in unhealthy behavior that no nutritionist, scientist or medical expert, would recommend - and neither would McDonald’s. Additionally, McDonald’s nutrition information is readily available; from our website at www.mcdonalds.com, by calling our toll-free number at 800-244-6227 and printed on the reverse side of our trayliners. McDonald’s will continue our role as an industry leader by providing our customers with menu choice, information and facts about our food. Again, thank you for taking the time to share your feedback with us. Your trust and confidence in our company’s tradition of producing high quality advertising are important to us. Signature Removed

Have you seen the latest McDonalds ads, the creepy bobble-headed animated people going on about their “fruit buzz” ? It’s only slightly less creepy and irritating than those weird plastic suit people they used in the Energizer ads a couple years ago.

In light of this, I thought I’d give Mickey D’s a smack of the cluebat and sent them the following email through their contact mechanism:

I would like to encourage you to fire your ad agency. The last 3 years have been marked by horrible press for McDonalds followed-up with horrible advertising. Are the people who hire your advertising campaigns so out of touch that they consider 4 creepily animated women talking about a “fruit buzz” an insightful way of communicating “here are some healthy options”? Does someone up there actually _not_ find them creepy? This would be on the heels of a campaign disastrously called “I’d hit it.” Now, I’m not the most in touch with the “urban” demographic you’re chasing here, but even I know that that phrase connotes: “I’d have sexual intercourse with it.” Someone sleeping at the wheel? Consider that the Jack icon from Jack in the Box cracks me up every time I see “him”. I can even name ads with him in it: the one where the guy goes to Philly (their new cheesesteak), kids spelling (for their ciabatta), the way they use Jack’s painted-on mouth for sight gags. I can remember their name, their product, and that their ad made me happy. I like their imaginary icon and somehow that extends to their food. I laugh at the Carl’s Junior ads which juxtapose beautiful models with huge manly burgers. I ask you, is there any way to feel warm and fuzzy about those creepy, animated Fruit Buzz women? If Jack makes me warm and fuzzy and that extends to his food, what emotional response extends to McDonalds upon looking at a bunch of creepily animated Fruit Buzz bobble-heads? I’ve not eaten at a McDonald mostly because of “Super Size Me”, but these campaigns to convince me that not all the food is full of sugar and stuff that will pickle or kill me fall on very deaf ears and eyes. For a reasonable rate I would vet your advertising campaigns and let you know if it is “stupid”, “creepy”, “cool”, or “really good” and save you both embarrassment and money and help you find a truly creative advertising agency. Regards, Steven

I just ate the Paris Hilton porn-burger.

It was awesome.

And I like that the ad pisses people off.

Update: This was written in reference to the 6.99 burger sold by Carl’s Junior. The ad featured the attention starved addicted Hilton washing a Bentley whilst eating said burger.

Anyone see something wrong in the pope’s activity?

Today I ask a question of great importance, is Steven G. Harms a snob in the key of e- ?

Surely he is a musical snob, cursing the fan of Ashlee “I dance like i just pooped in my pants” Simpson as well as they who favour Slipknot or the Insane Clown Possee.

But today a certain lady in SoCal proclaimed:

you’re a techno-snob

When I asserted that:

No meeting of people called “digerati” will have my presence unless I can be assured that at least 10% of them know what an ACK packet is.

word here: To needlessly remake a movie and, in doing so, demean the enjoyment of the original, raise contempt for its content, and raise ire against those that quickened the bastard spawn second version

Example: here

Michael suggested in a comment to yesterday’s post that my pleas had fallen on a God whose ears, like Odysseyus’ oarsmens’, was stuffed with wax.

Well, like Bono’s God - who doesn’t need Jimmy Swaggart to get money for Him - my God really doesn’t give a flying flip at a celestial donut about politics. I suffer no ire at the Almighty on this one.

So here we are, facing the reality of a second Bush term in office, what am I to think, to do?

Well every president walks into a world full of contingencies and issues that were not directly of his making. To that individual I extend a certain amount a leeway, a trust, a benefit of the doubt.

While I think the decisions about Iraq were the wrong choices at the wrong time, as this “new” president takes the helm, it is, as I said in the previous paragraph, but one of the contengencies and issues afoot in the world.

To someone with the charge of keeping the people safe in this swirl of uncertainty, I extend the best wishes and hope that previous experience will sharpen the acumen with which decisions are made.

To this individual, thus, I extend the best wishes and hope that they make great decisions to promote the growth and safety of the country.

But what does this mean for me? Where is Steven G. Harms, leftist-ish liberal, now?

And what of the Left as a whole? Are we to take this election result as ushering it some sort of new phase in American political life?

Furthermore, 11 states banned gay marriage outright, clearly asserting an identification with the moral scheme underlying Bush Republicanism.

So, what gives? Am I, and apparently most of the members of my states’ views now become some sort of unfashionable relic, white shoes after the GOP Labor Day?

I wish I had all the answers, but I see this election as the one where a fundamental fork in the road was reached.

The United States has (note not have!) decided to become an Empire, not a Republic. We should now concern ourselves with charting ourselves directly against Rome or the British Imperium and learning from their mistakes.

Imperium de novo

I’m trying to stay positive in light of the fact that we shall see challenge to Rowe v. Wade and several lasting far-right appointments to the Federal Judiciary. There are opportunities for growth - perhaps the Democrats can reforge their core values and ask: What do we stand for?

{ I still despise Perle and Wolfowitz though }

Why’d you have to lipsync your SNL appearance?

And why didn’t your band ad-lib, start over?

You’ve been outed as a Milli-Vanilli.

The Train Wreck.

At the end she blamed the band. Classy. I guess that’s why they kept on playing instead of helping you.

Update: Worse yet, maybe they were afraid you’d start — “dancing” again?

OK - the Pepto ads where the people are doing the butt cheek grabbing conga. Ugh!

I also find ads that celebrate being a selfish snit irritating, thus i dislike the McDonalds momma’s eatin’ her chicken ad.