Archive for the ‘Critique’ Category

Once upon a time there was a genius software developer named Hans Reiser. He used to join Linux forums and lambaste other hackers as being foolish, prodigal, indolent, and was generally a bit of an egomaniacal ass.

In other words, par for the course in the world of software development.

But then he was indicted, and convicted, for the murder of his wife amid a tale of S&M, Linux development ( intimately linked ), Russian internet-ordered brides, and infidelity.

A crucial feature of the trial was, well, that the cops couldn’t find the body. Upon being found guilty, Reiser seems to have copped a plea with the judge such that he could get a lesser sentence in exchange for the victim’s family and, nota bene, his own children being able to lay the body of their daughter / mother to rest.

Here was Gawker media’s “Valleywag” summation picture:

Gawker Reiser

First of all, and not to be juvenile, but a copy-editor would have caught the phrase “fingers corpse”—oh right this is blogging, ahem, never-mind.

Secondly, the incapacitated girl in the ad in the party dress appears dead if not really whacked out on laudanum. One could foreseeably think that that was the corpse under discussion.

The whole post is pretty distasteful, I’d say.

I’m reminded of pro-feminist blogs decrying things like “new bikini’s are scandalous” or left-leaning blogs that decry “It’s insane that McCain can run for president in the 21st century given that he can’t even use a computer” only to be served up, guess what, an ad featuring said bikini’s or a clip of the blogger-hating senator as an ad.

Dorky or Awesome? Iron man and “Iron Man”

Wednesday, September 12th, 2007

So The League informed the world of the availability of the Iron Man trailer. I must say Downey looks like he’s caught the disaffected playboy / Bush-era military-industrial-complex profiteer turns warrior for good ( but with a hint of misanthrope ) lightning in a jar in a way which is not “just the character formula of Batman” yet again.

He can do that because he’s an excellent real actor. See counter-example:

I’m conflicted, you see it, don’t you?

But the thing I’d like to lens in on is the use of Black Sabbath’s Ur-Metal song, uh, “Iron Man”. “Iron Man” is the Epic of Gilgamesh of Heavy Metal. Like the waters of Enki, it’s the source from which all that is meht-haaaaal comes.

Death shows his katana of Mehtuuuuul

[ Death says: “Mehtal rules!” ]

In any case, assuming you have some level of pop culture knowledge and a “The Arrow” formatted radio station somewhere in your experience, when you hear Tony Iommi’s pick-up bending, bridge-buckling, whammy-bar distorted opening air-raid dive-bomb opening of “Iron Man” you get the “Aw shits”.

“Aw shit, it’s “Iron Man” by ür-metal band Black Sabbath in the trailer for “Iron Man” - bet the studio paid through the nose to use that one! But it’s so cool!”

Great moments are achieved by subtlety not by the TOTAL RUINATION OF THE AD BY INCLUDING THE OPENING DISTORTED VOICE EFFECT “I AM IRON MAN” FROM BLACK SABBATH’S “IRON MAN” SONG AS THE MOVIE TITLE IRON MAN IS PRINTED IN A BLADE OF IRON

Wait did you miss it? He’s IRON MAN.

Stupid hacks always butcher good things.

Read more to find out how I would have cut the trailer.

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Begging the question

Wednesday, July 25th, 2007

I have a philosophy degree and, as such, I am uppity and snippy about a great many philosophical ideas that the non-philosophy-degree-holding public ( that is to say, those not asking “want fries with that” as the heart of their occupation ( I kid, I kid, my decadently over-educated bretheren )) believe they already know plenty about.

Much like an engineering magazine left in marketing, which leads to promises of Flux Capacitors in the next release, the non-Philosophy students occasionally get exposed to strange ideas which enamor them and which they begin to speak of regularly and, more dangerously, knowingly.

Exhibit A: “begging the question”.

“Begging the question” is a phrase that denotes a common type of logical fallacy. It’s where you assert what you’re trying to prove, as though it’s an established fact. Logically speaking it looks like

Premiss1 Premiss2 Conclusion

——

Conclusion

Versus

Premiss1 Premiss2 Premissn

——

Conclusion

Every time someone uses this phrase in the context of: “The car is broken, which begs the question of how we will get to school” my teeth grit. Why not say:

  • “Which leads to…”
  • “Which forces us to consider…”
  • “Which immediately draws us to…”
  • “Which, as a consequence, asks…”

Given that lack of options isn’t the reason for this misuse, it’s clear that there’s some sort of fascination with “beg the question”. Somehow people hear it once and, under its power, become like victims of Ampulex compressa. It’s compelling as an inter-sentence segue, it works a dark magic on the mind. As the pod-people continue to express the idea those of us with familiarity with the technical term chafe.

In this excellent article on how autistic children have a hard time understanding lying ( because they don’t have the ability to imagine minds with beliefs independent of fact ) the learned author writes:

If what other animals are doing when they appear to be dishonest is not real deception, this begs the question of what counts as real deception[1].

Now wait just a minute. Someone is writing scholarly work about autism research and misuses “beg the question”? Could it be? Have the scientists have been invaded by ampulex beggainterrogativa?

I think this phrase, quite like no other, is a shibboleth of “I went to a university and got a degree of consequence” . Ironically, it is usually the people who adopted the shibboleth for exactly that reason who most misuse it, leaving your fry cook’s teeth it ill-repair owing to the induced gnashing.

Footnotes:

  1. Might I add, that for those who do know the meaning of “beg the question” it’s confusing as the author might actually mean the true technical usage…or may not. It took me several re-reads to decide if he was being logical about it or using this bastard usage.

Political Correctness Trips over itself

Tuesday, July 3rd, 2007

I’ve recorded how I was recently in Boston at the beautiful Westin Boston Waterfront hotel. The foyer is beautiful, the bar dark and sleek, the staff courteous. In every way a high-calibre hotel should be enjoyable, it is.

Ancillary to this æsthetic, when turning on the beautiful plasma LG screen, you are given, instead of some graphic menu of “here are the movies we hope to bilk you an extra x bucks for”, a rotating series of interactive vignettes with this lovely, non-offensive, pretty, but not threateningly hot-pretty, conservatively-dressed, non-Caucasian ( because we’re down wit’ diversitay ) lady as your virtual interlocutor.

I named her Christina.

IMG_0261.jpg

Christina reminds you that Westin wants to elevate all your senses, and advises you to buy White Tea scented candles - against a pseduo-shoji wall, perhaps taking the Asian thing a bit too far, we get it, yo.

Now, I was surprised when pretty, prim, Christina had the ignominious task of informing me of the movie selection options: “Hollywood Blockbusters, Children’s programing, and mature adult content”.

"Mature Adult Content" she said

Say it with her “mature adult content”

She didn’t that, did she? Why Christina, you little minx, underneath your buttoned-up tweed there’s a scarlet A, eh? But then I thought about it a bit more…

  • Adult content = naughty movies
  • Mature content = naughty movies
  • Mature adult content = naughty movies targeted at the elderly (cue Pulp’s “Help the Aged”)

I realize that they’re trying to give as many flags to parents in the facility that this is exactly what you don’t want your kids to be watching ( same reason, reversed, for road warrior salesfolk ), but in so doing they created a bit of a semantic conundrum.

As for you mature adults tuning in…well, boffo.

Nancy Grace gets a lesson in ….

Friday, May 25th, 2007

…Realizing that her show is a zero-value add to the news discourse …Having guests show the miracles of lip injections …Realizing that her crew thinks she’s a hack

Meditate, young grasshoppers.

Update much question around is this real or not. Apparently the actual air was them running the Paris Hilton car wash commercial. Nevertheless, Grace did take her producer to task on-air.

Steven: An Advertiser’s Best Friend

Friday, May 25th, 2007

Millions of dollars each year are spent figuring out how best to position a product within the aisles of a grocery store. For the pleasure of having a rickety cardboard kiosk set up on the corner a company will pay a premium to the store owner, or, in to the drug store chain that Lauren and I were patronizing this afternoon.

Now, as I walked past this kiosk I thought to myself: “This name is horrible, how can I improve this?”.

Little Swimmers Kiosk

And then the answer became clear….

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Thoughts on Atlanta

Saturday, February 17th, 2007

I didn’t get to experience very much of Atlanta, being that I was whisked from the airport to the site, but I did have a few moments of interaction with the locals and I was struck by how different black / white relations are in this city.

Atlanta may be the most racially integrated place I’ve ever been ( I’m talking to you, California ). This was a complete surprise.

In California and liberally-minded campuses, we hear a lot about Diversity: this post-PC concept that all rational, enlightened people are supposed to accept and adapt to as they mature and move through life. Incidentally, the delivery of this message is so sanctimonious and treacly it undermines the message many times. We are taught that this is a Good Thing and that places that refuse this precept are backward and, ultimately, ordering the waves to stop lopping the shore.

But let’s name names, shall we? New York City and Westcoastia are clearly singled out as the progressive environs where such ideal behavior is practiced. States in the Old South are singled out as “not having gotten the message”.

My personal experiences in Northern Californistan turned out to be a bit less than the utopian vision that was alluded to at UT and that is ever-so-freely spoken of when non-CA’ers ask CA’ers what they love about their state, but I came away having drunk the Kool-Aid and thinking “Westcoastia is really integrated.”

But in Atlanta something happened to me that made me question the sincerity of the CA-we-all-love-each-other story. I’m now wondering if it’s a uniting myth, PR, and not necessarily reality.

The Little Things

While I was waiting for my ride I was typing some stuff on this very computer and minding my own business. An black man in a Carhartt jacket sat next to me. I thought he was waiting for luggage or something and I continued typing away.

Day-um, girls be sproutin’ like earlier every day

I didn’t think I was being addressed.

Ay, Ay, Ay, stop staring at that theres and take a look

I was being addressed and pointed to, uh, well, a young lady, who, in my neighbor’s eye was worthy of being friendly with.

I was so, surprised, I couldn’t believe it. In Texas and California it’s just so, rare: first to be spontaneously addressed by a member of another race outside of a Diversity Embracing Environment ( work, school, etc. ) and secondly to not have him modulate to my dialect.

So, as he enjoyed his lunch we chatted and he introduced himself. He was a worker for one of the airlines and his name was Hakeem. He told me his advice on getting rich ( a variant of the pay-yourself-first theme ) and how he was planning on looking sharp and finding a girl he could trust with his money. He talked a bit about some of his babymomma drama and how he was planning on getting another job and just banking all that money.

In total, we conversed for about a half hour. He spoke in his native Atlantan dialect and didn’t seem the least surprised that I remained speaking in my own. So we talked for about a half hour with our dialog interrupted only occasionally as he addressed passers by:

To A Lady:

“Hey friend, why don’t you come have a seat?”

To the rejections or eye rolls he opined:

“She’s just tired, that’s all. Tired.”

To a Nation of Islam Member:

As-salaam alaykum, brother, sharp suit. Back: Wa alaykum as-salaam, thanks, brother.

To my great surprise, this approach, when applied to the ladies, netted one giggle and his arranging a rendezvous at that spot when he got off at 9.

He then said he had to go back to work. He sat up, eyed the next acceptable female going his direction and proceeded to follow her so that, I gather, he could have acceptable eye-candy on his walk back.

After my discussion I started listening and observing, to see if I had just met an exceedingly loquacious and gregarious fellow. I had not, I started to see more and more black / white friends walking about through the walkway. I saw tiny social interactions go on between the races effortlessly.

The posh black lady talked to the Fonzworth Bentley Southern Dandy Style type, and the Bently Farnsworth guy was waiting for the white girl who was the girlfriend of his friend the black football player type (280 and BIG!). There was no hint of the hand-wringing (these black guys look like they know what I need to know, can I talk to them?) - just people being people, getting along.

I noticed that the Nation of Islam guys didn’t seem to be too surprised by the white guy with razor notched eyebrows and skullcap with Braves baggy training suit clearly pulled out of the fashion pages of The Source or similar.

In fact, no one seemed surprised to see white people acting “black” or white people acting “white” or black people doing smooth and preppy better than the Harvard yacht club. Similarly when two young black gentlemen sat down next to each other they continued talking ‘white’ despite the one was dressed in a puffy Falcons coat with skullcap out of rap video central wardrobe and the other was in a smooth argyle sweater.

It was enough to send ones stereotype reference guide to the blender.

It was an entirely racially neutral environment - for real! People here simply didn’t seem to care too much what behavior mapped to what cultural association and didn’t seem to be all that concerned about which one people in their environment had chosen (OK, the Nation of Islam guys did give a bit of a tut-tut when the football player type walked into the arms of the white girl ).

Time after time I saw my assumptions challenged.

On one occasion I heard voices outside my hotel room. Obviously a black female and a black male. I walked out a bit later. Wrong. Black female, white male. And it wasn’t like the white male was just doing the “Act Black and try too hard doing it” thing. It was just who he was, how he communicated and, for her part, the black female, a worker at the establishment, seems not to have registered that their discourse was remarkable.

On another night, in the bar, some black gentlemen taught me a game called, I think, “booshit” which is sort of like a profanity-laced version of hot potato that’s a drinking game at the same time. My pronounciation was corrected to be “booshit” because I was a bit hesitant to use black dialect. It was all very surprising, and liberating.

It was the ability to not be a nerdy white guy or to have to wring-hands about is this assmuption PC or not PC, can I say black, or African American, etc. All that stupid burden idiocy that gets in the way of people actually relating was relieved. It was excellent.

This freedom from baggage must be a reason the black educated elite are flocking to Atlanta away from Nashville, Dallas, and Houston. Affordable housing, good quality of life, and for once, everyone seems to really be into what everyone else is cooking, not on paper, or in theory, but in true day-to-day reality.

And, for my part, it’s this freedom from baggage that makes me think Atlanta might be a fine place to reside as well.

I’d be interested in knowing if any CaliGeorgians have any further insight into this. Am I reading too much in? Was this just a bunch of outliers? Do you think you have Westcoastia or Californistan beat in terms of true racial integration?

Broadway shows not needing to be made…

Friday, February 9th, 2007

I still subscribe to the Bay Area TicketMaster email to make sure i’m up on whose touring. Regrettably their search for Austin fixes on San Antonio and as Austin lacks an Amphitheatre-type venue ( thanks be to the FSM, PBUH ), it’s easier to say “oh, The Decemberists are on tour, where are they playing here?”.

In any case, in my latest update I saw….

Omigod It’s the Pre-Broadway Premiere of Legally Blonde The Musical

Wow. That really hurts. Gilbert and Sullivan must be rolling over in their Penzance laden coffins.

In effort to contribute something to the internet community more substantial than my musings on music, people in the environment, and a laundry list of “what I did today”, I have decided to undertake ( perhaps ) a series of writings about living with the technology-minded partner. Today I will write on what I have come to call “twitch mode”: what it is, how it affects relationships, and how you and your partner can handle its presence.

Your guy can’t focus on you, your attention is distracted after a day hard at work, everything feels too slow, after juggling chainsaws all day you feel like you’re can’t be involved at home? This entry may help you.

Note: This was originally drafted in early January 2007, but is only now surfacing here.

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Finished “The Road” by Cormac McCarthy

Sunday, November 19th, 2006

First things first, there is nothing manlier than the name Cormac McCarthy.

I think if it were that name stitched into a leather belt…

versus

…a Ford F150 with a poker table in the bed around which cowboys were drinking a case of Black Label while arguing over football while getting straightrazor shaved by strippers while puffing on Cuban stogies

…I think the name on the belt may have an edge.

If you have a last name that can bear that manly weight, then I beg you, give us more Cormac-en.

About The Road, it’s an unsentimental and very realistic portrayal about life after a global firestorm. Was it nuclear, asteroid, alien? No one knows, but the earth is now covered with a fine layer of ash which stirs ideograms of desolation into forgotten western landscapes.

A father, who has only bitter memories of a wife that seems to belong to another time, is taking his son down an interstate highway, pushing a shopping cart that carries the only tools that will help them survive.

Unlike Mad Max ( which actually presupposes an astonishingly developed model of civilization ) where Good and Evil face in pitched battle for the right to control the what-comes-next, “The Road” gives no such meaning to the apocalyptic landscape. There is the father, his son, their cart, their plastic tarp and the unending narration of their few miles gained each day.

They’re headed South from North where it’s just gotten too cold. I believe their path to be somewhere in Nevada through Northern California on into the Big Sur region. Along the way there are the inevitable highwaymen ( “road rats” ), rapists, shuffling dead, and agonizing hunger and thirst.

Yet the boy, who never knew anything of the world before, merely trudges on: curious, scared, sick, and gaunt.

The book features no chapter headings and no real sense of time. On this road there is no history of meaning, no future of value, and the present day is a routine in survival and walking.

I was stunned by the bare prose, verging on blank verse poetry.

The layout was also great and thoroughly assisted in the portrayal of the post-apocalyptic, vast, nothingness. With wide margins and ample line spacing the spartan presentation adds to the void and empty prose.

Picture is worth a thousand words:

Sample of text from McCarthy’s “The Road”

Invariably I found myself asking what I would do in such a situation. I’ve always been a bit more into eschatology than people should be. When I was still a regular attendant of church services and the preachers were spouting nonsense I usually found myself reading those grim bits of insanity in the last chapter of the Bible. I suppose my Gnostic interests found their root there - in the symbology and transformational hidden content.

Where would one start? It seems that nothing grows? How would one catalyze an agricultural existence? It appears that all the wildlife perished in the great firestorm?

How would you begin? In light of that weight, how would you continue? Would you fight for botulized tins of old food, eat bark and hope not to get murdered in your sleep by roving brigands? What sort of world is that to live, is that truly a life? And what, pray tell, would help you go on?

It’s all very fine, heavy existential work that, as all questions of this sort do, touch on those fine works by Kierkergaard. In all, it was a fine book.