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Keira Knightley’s Teeth of Doom

Let it be said that Keira Knightley is not an unattractive woman.

That is if you like women that are lean, tomboyish, without hint of feminine curves, yes.

I mean honestly, the fact that Monica Bellucci (example, light nudity) and Keira Knightley are both credited with being in the same gender simply goes to show the wonder of genetic variation. Hooray for evolution.

Owing to a perfect Keira storm, I have managed to see a lot of Keira lately:

  1. Cover of Vanity Fair

  2. “Bend it like Beckham” on Encore

  3. DVD of Pride and Prejudice picked up by my Lit. Degree girlfriend

Upon these several reviews within a short amount of time I have noticed that Ms. Knightly has a very unusual facial tic.

Here’s how to recreate:

  1. Start to smile (very lovely teeth indeed hath Keira)

  2. Pull the corners of your smile back and high

  3. Open mouth to the size of being able to fit a grilled cheese sandwich in-between upper and lower teeth

  4. Scrunch up nose into puggishness

  5. Flare nostrils

  6. Squish squintily your eyes

I find this a very odd facial expression. It was used to great effect repeatedly in Pride and Prejudice where, as Miss Elizabeth Bennet, her pithy remarks would cause her to giggle with her female confidant. It’s very much used as a tool to go from Elizabeth Bennet deadpan to “deadpan commentary over.”

I wondered though, if her co-stars ever feared Keira was about to consume their organ for smell sensation when the bared teeth loomed nearer.

But a picture is worth a thousand words. I ask you, intrepid readers, be there KK movies sans this expression?

Keira Bares All

(from Getty Images;))


Update: I noticed that in all the Academy awards pictures she’s opted for this now “the front six of my teeth beatific smile”. I think she must have gotten a press-stylist-whatever agent. That’s a bit of a pity, I liked that she was genuine in that regard.