stevengharms

Mountain View has a church of Scientology downtown. Outside the door generally stand some agreeable people who proffer me a stress-test or some literature. I’ve never gone in the building, but am usually civil.

One time I actually did hear the guy out and he told me the benefits of Scientology. I said I had no drinking problems, a good attitude, was in good health, enjoyed life, and did yoga. Being someone who believes his life is OK generally makes the glittering baubels of this cult fairly unattractive.

He thanked me for listening patiently and I went on my business. Since that time, when asked to her the spiel, I say “No thank you” or “The Buddha teaches there is no me to take this test”. I admit occasionally I think about saying “Islam’s fire of purification will swallow you like a lion!”, but I generally keep that in check.

In general I regard them as annoyances: like Creationists or Jehova’s Witnesses.

This weekend I tested out a new one:

“If Tom Cruise is what you get from this stuff count me out!”

Although every time I dismiss Scientology I grow very uncomfortable. Christianity was regarded the same way by the ruling class of its day.

The League of Melbotis has taken up the standard of people mau-mauing the bureaucrats in the corporate overlordship. The League’s excellent sense of humour shines through in his mailing to the Golden Arches located here.

Darth Harms, it just works

Of course learning to write it in Aurebesh presents more difficulty.

I’ve got my stuff staged about the place and … oh hey wait, diesel engine, brakes — they’re here!

Note to self: Blog entry summons movers.

Steven’s Pic for "Whatsinyourbag"
Originally uploaded by sgharms.

There’s a recent blogger fad going about called, whatsinyourbag. Here’s my entry to the rondo.

Recently this article touched off a furor for its author.

I consider it to be a very well thought-out dissection of why people cling to the power of religion. Essentially people are motivated by tribal identity and a need to belong - even when the entry costs for belonging are irrational, sadistic, and/or evil.

To be fair, I think he runs a bit to vitriolic success at the end, but the interesting idea that snagged my attention is this parallel:

We want the benefits of scientific progress, but are afraid to leave behind the voodoo dolls, sense of belonging and legitimation that religion offers. In parallel Friedman suggested that the sense of cognitive dissonance in Islamic culture hinges on “We want to be powerful, yet we fear outside influence” (not realizing that playing well in the outside world is the secret to economic and political power in our age).

As the author said: Wanting our cake and eating it too.

A story that major american media is not covering.

Read for yourself:

http://www.downingstreetmemo.com/memo.html

On the up side, they’rea responsive organization. Here was their take:

I’ll put my commentary in blockquotes.

Hello Steven: Thank you for taking the time to contact McDonald’s. We’re sorry you were disappointed with our advertising. We take pride in producing commercial messages that will be enjoyed. We certainly never intended for it to offend anyone [I didn’t say I was offended, I just thought it was bad]. Your comments have been shared with our advertising staff and independent advertising agency who work together to develop our commercials. Please know your feedback is helpful and will be considered in the future planning of our commercials. [This was definitely boilerplated in. The reference to Supersize wasn’t core to my message, but they must have put this in as part of a dictum] The “Supersize Me” movie you are referring to makes many claims that aren’t supported by medical science. The individual in the movie consumed at least two to three times the USDA’s daily recommended caloric intake for an adult male and he eliminated exercise from his daily activities. McDonald’s has never advocated that our customers eat an excessive quantity of calories. In fact, the vast majority of medical and scientific experts agree that McDonald’s food can be part of a healthy life style. We provide a wide range of food choices to help our customers make informed food choices. We offer several salad options, a grilled chicken sandwich, Fruit ‘n Yogurt parfaits, low-fat milk, fruit juices, apple slices, sugar-free soft drinks and more. The film maker clearly made a conscious decision to voluntarily engage in unhealthy behavior that no nutritionist, scientist or medical expert, would recommend - and neither would McDonald’s. Additionally, McDonald’s nutrition information is readily available; from our website at www.mcdonalds.com, by calling our toll-free number at 800-244-6227 and printed on the reverse side of our trayliners. McDonald’s will continue our role as an industry leader by providing our customers with menu choice, information and facts about our food. Again, thank you for taking the time to share your feedback with us. Your trust and confidence in our company’s tradition of producing high quality advertising are important to us. Signature Removed

Have you seen the latest McDonalds ads, the creepy bobble-headed animated people going on about their “fruit buzz” ? It’s only slightly less creepy and irritating than those weird plastic suit people they used in the Energizer ads a couple years ago.

In light of this, I thought I’d give Mickey D’s a smack of the cluebat and sent them the following email through their contact mechanism:

I would like to encourage you to fire your ad agency. The last 3 years have been marked by horrible press for McDonalds followed-up with horrible advertising. Are the people who hire your advertising campaigns so out of touch that they consider 4 creepily animated women talking about a “fruit buzz” an insightful way of communicating “here are some healthy options”? Does someone up there actually _not_ find them creepy? This would be on the heels of a campaign disastrously called “I’d hit it.” Now, I’m not the most in touch with the “urban” demographic you’re chasing here, but even I know that that phrase connotes: “I’d have sexual intercourse with it.” Someone sleeping at the wheel? Consider that the Jack icon from Jack in the Box cracks me up every time I see “him”. I can even name ads with him in it: the one where the guy goes to Philly (their new cheesesteak), kids spelling (for their ciabatta), the way they use Jack’s painted-on mouth for sight gags. I can remember their name, their product, and that their ad made me happy. I like their imaginary icon and somehow that extends to their food. I laugh at the Carl’s Junior ads which juxtapose beautiful models with huge manly burgers. I ask you, is there any way to feel warm and fuzzy about those creepy, animated Fruit Buzz women? If Jack makes me warm and fuzzy and that extends to his food, what emotional response extends to McDonalds upon looking at a bunch of creepily animated Fruit Buzz bobble-heads? I’ve not eaten at a McDonald mostly because of “Super Size Me”, but these campaigns to convince me that not all the food is full of sugar and stuff that will pickle or kill me fall on very deaf ears and eyes. For a reasonable rate I would vet your advertising campaigns and let you know if it is “stupid”, “creepy”, “cool”, or “really good” and save you both embarrassment and money and help you find a truly creative advertising agency. Regards, Steven

I just ate the Paris Hilton porn-burger.

It was awesome.

And I like that the ad pisses people off.

Update: This was written in reference to the 6.99 burger sold by Carl’s Junior. The ad featured the attention starved addicted Hilton washing a Bentley whilst eating said burger.