stevengharms.com

Ah, my last full weekend in Sydney, ending with the Australia day celebration. Australia day observes the arrival of white people to the Australian continent. I was at The New Windsor yesterday when I asked what independence AD celebrated and the barfly to my right replied “Nothing, we’re still prisoners of the old bag.” I had to chuckle at that one.

Speaking of yesterday, I spent the early part of the morning at the Art Gallery of New south wales checking out their Caravaggio Exhibit. I’ve always been a fan of Caravaggio because he was one of the first artists to really explore the seedier sides of life. i suppose this may be an effect of my like for that which is seedy, dark, and generally exploitative of the demons of humankind’s lesser nature.

I hope that doesn’t make me a misanthrope.

His works that show people working in concert to rob the proud buffoons of th upper class are comical. He also was not afraid to paint horribly ugly people: broken noses, crooked teeth, crooked souls.

It is worth noting that Caravaggio knew a bit about the demons of lesser nature as he was exiled for having stabbed an opponent after an argument over a game of tennis (no such fireworks from the Australian open this year).

The trouble was that the exhibit was called “Caravaggio and his World” - I noticed a lot more “and his world” versus “Caravaggio.” I didn’t mind the context - a great many of the paintings were thematically the same and the diffeence was Caravaggio’s execution - nonetheless I couldn’t help feeling that I had been slightly misled.

In the main galleries they had a few good paintings (given Australia’s youth it’s not surprising that it doesn’t have much to my taste) such as the portrait of Cosimo deMedici, but past that not much else. As I was saying parenthetically above, since Australia came of age in the age of Hannover we are treated to heaps of Bosworth or Samuel Johnson petit rois du maison with their graying wigs, double chins, and stern expressions. If ever you can’t visualize some bureaucrat in a Dickens novel just take a look around that gallery.

Similarly the landscapes of the era were equally uninspired. It was painful. Fortunately I found the hidden cache of Flemish fijnschilderij.

There was some quite interesting modern art.

The real highlight was the Asian gallery that had a full suit of Samurai armor and several swords. There were many other textile crafts that were absolutely stunning. They had a gallery on Asian religious items (Buddhas, Hindu Pantheon) which were very beautiful and very primitive at the same time.

My favorite exhibit was a miniature Japanese Tea room in Zen style. That was absolutely stunning. Design-wise I’ve always been a bit of a minimalist and these black edged tatami mats with ikebana works on small shelves vas very beautiful. It looks so peaceful I just wanted to throw a mattress in there and take a nap….it’d be a great motif for a bedroom. I’ve noticke the Calvin Klein ads seem to be dialed into that motif.

Saturday I spent the day at the beach but the waves were totally non-existent. It was like a great big swimming pool out there. I got a bit of a sunburn so that made sure I didn’t go back during the long weekend - all the better.

I’m dreading packing up to leave. I suppose though I am ready to leave here because I’m starting to feel the same frustration I had been feeling in San Francisco - you start living life on the delay timer and your situation becames all the more difficult to tolerate.

Besides, I need to tear up some snow.

“If we accept a home of our making, Familiar habit makes for indolence. We must prepare for parting and leave-taking Or else remain the slaves of permanence.” - Hermann Hesse

There are some of us who wonder if we’ll ever stop moving.

There are those of us who wonder why there’s never been a home.

We’ve chosen the harder path, listless souls doomed to roam.

I really hope someone out there gets the right directing crew together to produce The Golden Compass or Northern Lights as a film. I think that the movie would work very well based on the script — but, there’s a certain difficult moodiness to Pullman’s book that I think would be very hard to capture on the screen.

The cartoonishness of Harry Potter (boy wizard full of derring-do) is what made it easily translated to a film- but Lyra Bellaqua is neither inherently likable nor is she someone we empathize with nor is she someone we admire from the get-go.

Oddly, the thing that makes Pullman’s characters so interesting, their daemon familiars, actually serves to alienate them from us all the more.

Why am I writing about a book i finished weeks ago? Not sure. In either case it’s a good sign that it was a good book.

To say nothing of that collective title to the three books of the series: “His Dark Materials”. I don’t know who he is (Lord Asriel, maybe? But he didn’t want the alethiometer..) and I don’t know what the materials are.

It just has this whole Umberto Eco ring of coolness to it.

I’ve been loath to say those three words for a while, but yesterday I went out and I hopped up on most every wave that came in, rode it into a good depth and then leapt off the board. Here’s thanking the guys and girls over at Let’s Go Surfing.

Now I can’t claim that my showing was flashy or riddled with deft snaps (hey, it’s a longboard fergoodnesssakes) and that I was on a longboard … but if someone asked me “Hey can you do that” I could say “Yes, a bit.”

….and I’m happy with that.

During the afternoon surf I met some nice folks named Marcello and Kris. After the surf we stopped by Speedo’s Cafe cafe next door and had a few bers. She then invited me over to her place in North Bondi to hang about, drink some Victoria Bitter (VB) and listen to (New Zealand) band Crowded House.

Around seven we headed down to the Bondi Icebergs club for trivia night. The Icebergs is a rather famous bar / athletic club on the southern tip of Bondi Beach that boasts a swimming pool filled with the seawater. It’s also where the Australian celebrities congregate and get their pictures taken when in the area.

Good luck shone upon ups as my team won the Trivia Night! Muhahahha! So here’s props to: Steve, Rob, Rob’s Mrs. Maeve (OK, I have no idea how to spell her name), Mo-Nikki (er, Monique), Kris, and Marcello.

And the nectar of victory - 5 dollar tokens for use in the bar - not bad!

The best part now is that I can head down to SoCal and go for a surf with my friend Jenn and not have to worry about her clowning me too hard .

In other news, a guy I worked with on some testing back a year or so ago, Chris Toshok, found his apartment in SF raided as his roommate appears to be implicated in the theft of Half-Life 2 source code. Half Life was one of the best video games ever, right up there with Monkey Island - so I can understand wanting to get a playable copy with a quickness but……

shonky: Australian term meaning “shady”, “suspect”, definitely pejorative..

Those bastards at Enron are right shonky bastards.

Daniel is travelling tonight on a plane
I can see the red tail lights heading for Spain
Oh and I can see Daniel waving goodbye
God it looks like Daniel, must be the clouds in my eyes
 - Elton John

That one goes out to my sister who should be Madrid, Spain right now. She’s off to do a few months of study abroad. I remember when I did my own trip almost 6 years ago, I remember walking off the plane into a place (a continent!) I had never been to before, I didn’t speak the native language … it was all so new, so daunting, and so exciting.

I remember the long arms of Schipol’s concourses with the summer 7am sunlight streaming in through the windows. I trudged down the concourses into customs and before I knew it, I was there, in a place I had thought so much about in the preceding months.

I guess I still get that feeling ever time I go far away.

In the movie version of my life, all international arrivals and departures will have a soundrack of Ladytron songs (preferably the track “Lights and Magic”). Wouldn’t it be a glamrous fate for us all to have that?

Nasa achieves zenith of achievement, dorkiness in same moment

“JPL engineers played Baha Men’s “Who Let the Dogs Out” in the control room as they watched new images confirming that the Mars Exploration Rover Spirit successfully rolled off its lander platform early Thursday morning.”

[ From: http://marsrovers.jpl.nasa.gov/home/index.html ]

Too funny to be left uncommented upon.

I had a very nice weekend this past weekend and I will write about it now:

Friday night there was an exciting one-day cricket match between Australia and India at the Sydney Cricket ground. It was a very intense battle in the last hour where India needed only 30 or so runs to overtake the home team. The partership was strong with India captain Sourav Ganguly on the strike. In an error his partner ran when he shoudn’t have and the bowler stumped Ganguly and sent him in. Then after a series of stellar catches Australia finished off the Indian batting line and won the game. It was great!

After that I headed home. Saturday I headed up to Coogee beach and explored the area for apartments and had breakfast at a very nice little cafe not far from the sands. It was rather hot and I headed up to Bondi to take a look at the surf which was completely flat. I decided to head on home after that. I arranged with Big Al to meet up in The Rocks district with some of his friends (Dangerous Dave, Leo, and his partner Helena). We had a few beers at the uber bar (a bar on top of a German-themed restaurant) before we headed over to the Cruise Bar on a wharf that extends out into the quay.

It was the usual scene of Sydneyside glamour, guys in thin light button-down shirts and slacks, girls in black form-fitting low slung pants, extra moist moisturizeron the faces dashed with glitter, the obligatory standard house music..the usual.

Leo and Helena had had their fill about 1 and they headed off home. Dave, Big Al, and I headed over to a place called Aqua i think which was quiet and relaxed. After a few beers we were ready to turn in. Dave took the bridge (by foot!) back to North Sydney and Big Al and I grabbed a Mackers on the way back downtown.

We parted ways on Park street and I headed to bed.

Sunday I slept in and then headed out to Bondi. I hit the surf about 2 right as the waves started to come in. I had a really good run and was very tired about 4 when i returned my board. I wandered down Campbell Parade (the main beachside street) and found the usual open-air market. I got a Chinese Massage , and bought some ‘Thai fisherman Pants” - they’re really light and pretty comfortable and are “beachy”.

I then went to Gelbison’s pizza and grabbed a pizza to go and ate it on the beach while attacking The Cathedral. All this deep rumination on the asthetic life versus the Catholic life is really hard for me to get through — but I’m just not the kind of guy who puts down a book half-read.

The pizza gone I headed up to the bus and went back to town. On the way back I noticed that some of my friends from the New Windsor were lurking about so I went in and had a few drinks with them. After that a shower was due and I then hopped into bed, a bit sunburned and slept the sleep of the Sydneysider.

1. Yum Cha (Chinese Dumplings)
2. Red Wine
3. Brie-ish or Camembert-ish cheese
4. Coffee with sugar and cream.
5. Chocolate

The effects of the drugs against each other is sublime.

Now why am I familiar with this meal for lunch today, a work day as you say? Well for friend Steven was very stupid yesterday and has 4 GIGANTIC blisters on his feet. They are of the scope that i cannot even hobble about well. It sucks.

See, I had the bright idea of running from Bondi Junction to Bondi Beach. It’s not far, it was a great sunny day, I was feeling good.

So I ran down there to make my surf lesson, grabbed the board, and started heading out into the waves. The sun was out, the waves were breaking nicely and I was getting some great tips from my coach.

I stood up once in the sandbar and my feet felt bad - like they’d been scratched. Shortly after my feet felt real bad. It got worse with each passing moment and the sand and sea were not making the situation better.

I’ll spare the details, but the story ends with me leaving the lesson early with bandages around my feet (like Chaplin’s “The Little Tramp”) and me gently padding back to the hotel.

Fortunately things this morning are better than yesterday — but still, it hurts to walk. In sum, i decided to bail on going into work and instead fired up the Ethernet connection and worked from the lovely Central Business District.

Salon.com reviewed the year in music and that spawned these next two bits.

I’d like to say something about Coldplay. I like that tune “Yellow”, but there is no way this band is half as good as everyone likes to say they are. On CNN they said that Coldplay were the new U2. Hell no! Heeeeeellll no! U2 has a little thing called passion - Coldplay is about as passionate as Mamie van Doren in a V2-Rocket bra in the back of a 57 Thunderbird with a fifth of whiskey … making out with a dead carp. No way. By the way, XXXtina Aguilera should start copping Mamie’s look for her next media blitz - I think that the whole Versace thing is a bit trite, going hot vintage might be the next mine-able meme .

Back to Coldplay: The lyrics - God, no, they’re nowhere near U2’s in their more crafty moments and there nowhere near as simple as U2 in their most naked moments. I’m not a huge fan of the whole ZooTV thing (Yes, I “get it”, I have a philo degree, I get it, but i just don’t like it). “Where the Street Have No Name” and “With or Without You” are two of the most powerful songs ever written. Sorry Coldplay, you’re not even in that league.

salon cited: “God gave you style, God gave you grace/ God put a smile upon your face.”

My suggested version:

“God gave you style, God gave you grace, He put pork chops on your plate

mmm. pork chops.

New U2 my butt.

Is Jack White (of the white stripes) an obnoxious pig as salon.com suggested?

I’m pretty sure he is. But dammit he’s the best rock star - heck maybe even the only rock star out there right now (OK, maybe except the Yeah Yeah Yeahs). Look man, I stood on a corner of Bondi Junction when some guys in a volvo pulled up blaring “7 nation army” and immediately i gave them the “in the know grin (tm)” and they just stopped so i could check out that moster fat-ass building crushing riff. It’s the spontaneous bonhomie that we saw in Wayne’s MirthMobile. It’s something only music can summon out of nowhere.

And let me just say that that 7 nation army video is outstanding. It’s like Jack White’s willy wonka ride of horrors. The blue, the red, the marching vintage Advanced Dungeons and Dragons Skeleton Warriors army, Meg, and then AN ELEPHANT — it’s OUT standing.

It’s a bit old and all, but since MTV doesn’t show videos anymore, you may not have caught it.

Where I agree….

• Cat Power’s Free was the best indie record of the year
• Emmylou Harris is getting better (was it possible!?) with age.
• Lucinda Williams’ World without Tears was great - but the best in recent memory? Sorry on that one, that would be Car Wheels… - still. Don’t get me wrong - I still bought it

Notable Exception

• Yeah Yeah Yeahs - this band is huge, gigantic, and that fame hasn’t quite caught up is irrelevant. They are great, Important, and Big. If it turns out that they break up before fame comes along it will be Velvet Underground effect - they will affect every musician for 2 decades to come.
• Evanescence - Well omitted. They are a flash in the pan and have nothing. Except their singer is nice looking.

I most heartily agree with this year being the year that non-hip-hop fans really got into hip-hop. I had never bought a rap record that I recall (besides Black Sunday from Cypress Hill) but this year all that changed.

Why? Well Gangsta Rap reached its zenith (50 Cent) instead of it’s 1970’s glam like pinnacle (Puff Daddy - heck, Puff did a song with the titan of 70s excess - Zepplein’s Jimmy Page!). 50 is a lot like the punk revolt, he’s taking gangsta back to the actual gangstas. But let me say this, this is the end of the line. Everything after 50 Cent is decadent that is not in a new direction.

Hip-hop has two choices: literate poetry or something else

Russell Simmons, cleverly, is doing the first one. You can tell with his Def Poetry Jam. This trend came up with Digggable Planets, A tribe Called Quest and was occulted by the Puff Daddy age - but it’s coming back. There is an underground group of rhymers and lyricists of Sting Calibre (“…Young Apprentice / Scylla and Charybdis”) who are going to move things forward. For what it’s worth Black Eyed Peas are a poppy version of this - notably absent from salon’s summary.

The second genre has to be coming from hip-hop saviour poster children OutKast. It’s exciting, it’s fabulous, it’s amazing. They’re pushing hip-hop forward, not the way Eminem did by being white — no they’re really really failing gloriously or succeeding terribly with what they’re doing. Prince and hip-hop and gangsta rap and … it’s what we’ve been waiting for.

My mother said Prince was ahead of his time in 1985, she said this on Galveston beach under an iron sun shelter as my cousins and I ate sandwiches. It’s not surprising that 20 years later when that sound’s integration into hip hop is exactly what it took to make a genre turn the corner.

I was never a Prince fan, but I know he’s talented as heck.

So that’s my thoughts on music for the year…

I heard that Andre 3000 has been cast to play Hendrix in a bio-pic. GREAT CASTING. Go Hughes brothers. I’m glad I wasn’t the only person to see a more than casual resemblance between Mr. 3000 and Mr. Hendrix. I sensitivity to actually playing music is not one of the least significant differentiators between OutKast and the rest of the hip-hop field they’re leaving behind.

Pictures of Circular Quay and the Opera House now available. Here is what I did this morning to enjoy the hot weather that ushered in the new year here.

Burning Question: What happened to Michael Keaton?
Micheal Keaton is a great actor. I was a young kid when my Aunt got all of us to see Mr. Mom (she has a certain gift for warm-hearted coercion). It’s on TV right now and it’s gotten me thinking…

Keaton is one of the finest actors that we have ever been blessed to watch do comedy.

First he does physical comedy incredibly well. The scene in Mr. Mom where his car-pool mates are throttling their car-pool-mate who has fired the three of them has the madcap timing of the the keystone kops.

Secondly, Keaton does sarcasm and understatement in a warm-hearted way - which is a measure of talent and depth of emotion. When his son says: “We heard you got fired”, his delivery of: “Technically I got furloughed, sport” is neither cold nor a “snap.” Let me contrast this to the humour of today, take “My Wife and Kids” with Damon Wayans or “The 70’s Show” . Today’s show writers think that to be clever you have to be heartless. Watching Keaton is a lesson on how to get out of the ironic delivery morass that has enmired most sit-com comedy (patron saints: Jeanine Garofalo and Jerry Seinfeld - although the Sartrian end of Seinfeld implies Jerry wasn’t entirely comfortable with this { or Larry David at the very least wasn’t } ).

Another example would where when he runs his shopping cart into another shopper’s and and tosses a potato chip bag into the other shopper’s cart and says “Let’s call it even and settle out of court.” It’s terribly clever under the circumstances and isn’t delivered maliciously, but with this wry sense of self deprecation.

(Talk about a trip in the time machine, a conference room filled with people smoking in the workplace)

Lastly, Keaton has a great command of his facial muscles. This was one of the best features of what made his performance in Batman work. The mask allowed his mouth and that big toothy loose-jawed grin work and express himself through the mask. This trademark grin of his is what makes his wry deliveries work. If that command of his lips weren’t enough, he’s got those Jack Nicholson peak eyebrows and crazy googly eyes (I say googly not as a slight on him, but rather they’re the canvas upon which his eyebrows frame and work to give him an insane range of expression).

Allright then, my encomium of Mike aside, where is he? Anyone know why he seems to have taken a film hiatus?

The news from IMDB is that he seems to be heading back to the the celluloid grind with two projects in production. One of these is somewhat worrying to me as it appears to be a film interpretation of a Don DeLillo book. I’m a huge fan of DD and I’m somewhat frightened by the prospect of what might happen in a filming of one of his works….we’ll see.

Speaking of movies that scare me, Will Smith is slated to appear in the film interpretation of Asimov’s I, Robot. This is one of the most intelligent science fiction books ever written, so help me Lord if this turns into something like an Independence Day film. If so, I will hunt those Hollywood dogs down and hurtle Asimov’s brombdignag guide to Shakespeare at them. I’m hopeful though, the director was at the helm of Dark City. If we get a noir-ish turn to the story a la Minority Report or Ridley Scott’s masterwork Blade Runner I think that we might have a really clever interpretation of Asimov’s work. The IMDB synopsis says that Smith is a robot-phobe - this could really, really play well. Smith, perhaps under pressure for having behaved like a character from Bad Boys (ugh) has to take this kooky robot case. Let’s set him recently widowed or divorced (killing off his kid would be a way bit much and kinda cheap) and he takes this loopy-ass assignment to go sort out this robot murder.

…and then let’s have him kinda hardnose (Mickey Spillane style) go after the cop-work of it, do the forensics and stuff.

…and then let’s have him agree to have a dinner with the egghead, but still kinda hot, Dr. Susan Calvin who pulls him ever so briefly out of the “I’m just a cop” schtick and she brings up the real question at the heart of “I, Robot” - what if the robots really are in control..or are benevolently in control??

My most severe hope is that under the stimulation of his wife’s recent decent reviews in the Matrix movies, Will will turn his acting (which “The Spanish Prisoner” and “Six Degrees of Separation” shows he can do) in that direction versus the MIB / ID4 direction. C’mon Will, make this your “serious” role.

I would like to see a non-white science fiction lead. Yeah yeah I know you Trek heads, there are a lot of minorities on the Trek, but I’m talking about a a big fat lead, a Han Solo. I’m not getting into that debate, but the last word on it was pretty much stated in Chasing Amy. Will’s got the fame, let’s hope he does something outstanding with it.